Ronnie D
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YOUR CART

4/8/2017

Shhhh, There's a Secret Show TONIGHT, so Don't Tell Anyone . . . 

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FREE comedy show TONIGHT at MIDNIGHT, right by Crescent Ballroom! Gifted to this fine community by the one and only Cristin Davis. Use the North Star to guide you and bring him offerings of frankincense, myrrh, and centaur.

Free Pabst Blue Ribbons while they last!

The show is a secret though, so don't tell anyone, OK? Like you did that one time I told you in confidence about that one guy I had a crush on. Remember that? I was like, "I wanna do this and that to him," and you were like, "Oh my god, seriously?!? To THAT guy???" And I was like, "Yeah, what's the big deal? Try it sometime, maybe you'd like it . . . Seriously though, please don't tell anyone, OK? PLEASE! It's a secret." And you were like, "Don't worry, I won't. I know how to keep a secret, Ronnie." And then I ran into so-and-so at the gas station, and they were like, "Oh my god, Ronnie, I heard from so-and-so who heard from so-and-so's girlfriend who supposedly heard from so-and-so that you TOTALLY wanna do this and that to that one guy. Seriously, Ronnie?? To THAT guy??"

So yeah, let the secret spread like a sexually deviant wildfire, and I'll see you tonight at midnight!!

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    In Case You Were Wondering . . . 

    Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything. 

    Go ahead and read it. What else are you gonna do anyways? Work? 
    Please.

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