I'm currently at my parents' house watching a Four Weddings marathon. I figured this was as good a time as any to ask them: Since it's obvious I'll never be getting hitched, could I just have the money you've been saving for my wedding?
My mom replied, "Sure, there's a 10 in the jar on the counter."
Hell yeah . . .
Do you, Ronnie D, take these nachos to be your late-night lover? To absorb your tears and convert your sadness to gas as long as you alone shall live?
And, well, we all know what happened to my dowry.
In Case You Were Wondering . . .
Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything.