If you're like me, you find that traditional Valentine's Day cards don't really touch upon your relationship trends.
Well, have no fear!
Because I've created a line of cards featuring romantic sentiments that may hit a bit closer to home.
I'll be out at the open mics all week hustlin' these. Each one is made by my fidgety little hands on paper Corporate America threw away and comes with its own hand-decorated envelope. Made with love, stray cat hair, and the energy of not just any woman scorned -- but Ronnie D scorned.
I'm asking a buck or two for each, but if you can't afford that (which, honestly, I think you can -- I see that beer in one hand and that cigarette in the other), I'm down to trade a story of a mother fucker who did you wrong. Who knows, I may even provide the stamp depending on the shit they pulled on you.
Oh, and there will be more than these. I'm still crafting; this is just my first edition.
And yes, I understand these photos aren't the best, but I quickly took them in my bathroom this morning before I had my morning coffee. Come see them in real life. Hold them in your hands. Feel better about yourself because you go to the gym or use Rosetta Stone instead of using junk mail, glue sticks, and markers to deal with your emotions.
The Fuck Boat
In Case You Were Wondering . . .
Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything.