So I've been watching tenant makeup tutorials on Pornhub. I wanna make a good first impression.
Apparently, the trick is to use eyeliner and spit to draw attention away from your credit history and lack of verifiable income.
Hmmm. . .
*tries to spit in hand but is too dehydrated from all the coffee*
*grabs her tent and a bucket instead*
PS: My apologies to the cafe and its patrons fresh from Sunday service for using the wi-fi at a table directly by the front entrance to work on this blog.
In Case You Were Wondering . . .
Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything.