When I was young, maybe about 7 or 8, I used to hang around with this boy who had a Gila monster's paw. He used to keep it in the waistband of his Hawaiian print shorts. He also had a gopher's paw, and yep, he kept that appendage in his shorts for safekeeping too. We fell out of friendship after not too long which, looking back, was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. The rate his hobby was going, he would have probably had a Ronnie D paw in his shorts by 1992.
Come celebrate the retention of both my paws at my first show of the Bird City Comedy Festival! The lineup is incredible, and who knows, maybe my paw will end up in someone's shorts after all. Get your tickets here. Use promo code: PAWMEBABY for absolutely no benefit whatsoever.
In Case You Were Wondering . . .
Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything.