When faced with having to do a lot of stuff and make a lot of decisions in a very short amount of time, instead of doing any of that, dance as if you're a GIGANTIC, robotic, fire-breathing dinosaur for at least an hour before you get into the shower.* It helps if you're wearing a green sweater. It really helps if you fell asleep in a green sweater the night before.
Oh, shit. Wait. . . Wait. . .
I'm an alligator now.
Oooh. . .
*Obviously, don't have the water running; that's just wasteful.
In Case You Were Wondering . . .
Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything.