I'm extremely stoked to be on the lineup for #LTWSE's 1 year anniversary with Mike Enders, John Vargas, and Al Jackson!
Come early to grab seats and live it up in Valley Bar's AC. Stay late to get your groove on at the new wave dance party immediately following the show. Will I be dancing? Absolutely. Every single one of those jams is #MyJam.
Doors at 7:00 pm
Show at 7:30 pm
$10 Presale / $12 Day of Show
Get your tickets now before the show sells out!
Valley Bar: 130 N Central Ave, Phoenix, AZ 85003
This Saturday at 9:00 pm I'll be telling stories at The Torch Theatre as the guest monologist on The Neighborhood!
What stories? Only time will tell. Maybe it will be one you've never heard before, one I've buried deep down inside, one I didn't really intend to share. . . Ooooh, that sounds fun now, doesn't it?
ME: Shhhh! I'm trying to communicate telepathically with my lost love.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Does he know how fat your arms have gotten?
ME: STOP! Seriously. . . what if he hears you?
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: So, what? You're just not gonna tell him. Sounds like that's not the best way to reconnect.
ME: I just don't think that's the most important thing to tell him right now.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Oh, I see, you're not gonna be honest. Maybe you HAVEN'T grown up.
ME: No, it's not that, it's just that. . .
MY LOST LOVE: Oh hey, Ronnie. Wow! It's been such a long time. You look like you're well. . . fed.
ME: Yeah, I guess I'm not starving anymore.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: You can say that again.
ME: SHUT UP!
MY LOST LOVE: Good one!
ME: Wait, hold up, guys. That's not cool. Sure, I've put on some pounds, but that's a good thing. Remember, I was LITERALLY starving.
MY LOST LOVE: Sure, but you were hot.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Well, like her body was hot cause she was so thin, but her face. . . that's kinda always looked like a cockroach.
MY LOST LOVE: Oh my god, you nailed it right on the head! Her face DOES look like a cockroach!!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Like a buxom cockroach now.
MY LOST LOVE: Oooooh, looks like someone came out after the lights went out and got into the grains and the cat food.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Ohhh shit, look at that cockroach! Its arms are so fat it can't even get back down the drain. Guess it'll just have to eat some more.
MY LOST LOVE: Oh, man, that's fucking hilarious. . . Hey, what do you say we go down to the bar and check out the talent. ASU's back in session, and you know that like 95% of those chicks do blow.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Oh shit, you know what that means -- blow equals bones, bro!
MY LOST LOVE: Awww fuck yeah, ain't nothin hotter than a young, bony broad!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Hell yeah, I love me some bones!
MY LOST LOVE: Bone, bone, bone, bohhhhn.
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Nice.
MY LOST LOVE: Bones!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: Bones!
MY LOST LOVE: BONES!!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: BONES!!
MY LOST LOVE: BONES!!!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: BONES!!!
MY LOST LOVE: BONES!!!!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: BONES!!!!
MY LOST LOVE: BONES!!!!!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD: BONES!!!!!
ME: Hello? Hey guys. . . Hello???
The only cock that I'll get down with anymore is BABcock.
I'm so excited to be a part of this show with headliner Ron Babcock as he winds down his summer tour! It promises to be a great night with additional performances by Ryan Stalder, Leslie Barton, Justin Zlotoff, and Justin Regan. The best part? The show is FREE!
Am I advocating that you take Friday off of work, drive up to Flagstaff Thursday night, check out the show, and then just spend a little much-deserved me time away from the blistering heat? Absolutely. Unless, of course, you get in trouble. Then you're on your own. You're an adult after all.
For more info on Ron's latest shenangians, check him out at: www.heyron.com
I woke up in bed* this morning next to this peppy little gem.
Dying to hear more about my pleasureless life? Lucky you; I'll be talking about it TONIGHT at Brigett's Last Laugh alongside these folks who may or may not still have some pleasure in their own lives: John Connell, Eric Sobczak, Bill Laskowski, Chad Reid, Kim Jones, Jamie Camire, James Hoenscheidt, and host John Henry.
*Couch, in half-jammies/half-I give up on this whole taking off then putting on other clothes endeavor
I'm gonna have Cristin Davis sign all sorts of things tonight at Underbelly. Things where the ink may eventually wear off, but the memory never will. *wink, wink*
(Cristin's words, not mine. . .)
Do not miss this Friday night at Monkey Pants Bar and Grill!! The hilarious Cristin Davis will be filming his comedy special Underbelly!
If you've felt like it's been awhile since you've had a true night out, this is it. Underbelly promises to be a unique performance event put together by one of my favorite humans on the planet, and a film produced by one of my other favorite humans on the planet, Jessie Johnson. Be a part of history and stay tuned for a future film screening event.
I have my ticket, do you??
If not, it's cool; I understand. I procrastinate too. But come on, man, get your shit together, and buy your ticket NOW.
I'll be trekking across the desert today for this fun event!
Looking forward to spending some quality time with my car again -- just it and me on the open road, living life, loving life. . . deciding to head to Mexico, ya know, just run away to Mexico -- just for a little bit -- to chill out, to get our heads straight. We'll be back soon. We promise this time. . .
In Case You Were Wondering . . .
Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything.