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4/9/2018

I Just Turned Down a Man Hitting on Me at the Dollar Store

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Then I thought to myself, why?

Am I that jaded I've given up on the idea of finding true love amongst the aisles of rejected yet still perfectly functional items?

​If anything, this sounds like the perfect place for romance. After all, don't we all just want to be that 6-pack of 2-sided sponges no one thinks will even be worth that dollar, but ends up being better than anyone could have ever imagined in the end? 

I know I do.

So, I say, if you're going to be sitting in a tree -- K-I-S-S-I-N-G -- why not a Dollar Tree?

4/8/2018

When Bliss Falls Softly

Like Palo Verde snow in spring.
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4/7/2018

The Best Question I've Been Asked by a Stranger This Week?

"Did you do a show at Pride last year where you fucked a heart?"

Why, yes. Yes, I did.

4/5/2018

Starbucks Porn Recovery Creamy Iced Latte

Dripping with caramel and made JUST FOR YOU, big boy/naughty girl.
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4/5/2018

So Tired. So Tired.

Don't know if it's from watching all this porn,

4/4/2018

D-Votional

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SIDENOTE: Please google "praying woman (girl) silhouette" to see the sexy footwear pious ladies typically wear.
​Feel like God isn't listening? It's because of your manly shoes. 

4/4/2018

I've Been Watching a Lot of Porn Lately

So it's making this wait at the mechanic much more intense. 
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Category?

Masochist.

I'll just sit here ignored in the waiting room getting all worked up until they overcharge me to redo something they already did -- and I'll pay for it like a little bitch -- then take a Little Caesar's coffee shit in their bathroom.

Do I flush?

Well, that's up to you. It's your fantasy now.

4/2/2018

I Thought I Might Be Depressed

So I took a quiz on the internet to find out.

1) I do things slowly.

Do things? Uhhh. . . 

2) My future seems hopeless.

No, not at all. I'm gonna die someday. 
​

3) It's hard for me to concentrate on reading.

I'm sorry. Did you write something? I was busy drawing this cat. . . Be careful, Cat. That coffee you're holding is really hot. You wouldn't want to burn yourself, now would you, Cat? . . . Or would you? Maybe that's the only thing that makes you feel anything anymore, isn't it, Cat? <meow> You're a sad, little Cat, aren't you,? <meow> You take your coffee like you take your existence, don't you, Cat? Unrequested and thrown in your face, staining your pristine flesh with the acidic mess of "being."
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Eh, you know what?

​I probably don't need to finish this quiz. 

I'm just gonna like, stare for a few hours or something. 


​#MondayMotivation

4/1/2018

Please Write the Caption for My Old Easter Photo

That's me on the left and my brother on the right.

I'd write it myself, but I'm seriously exhausted from all this resurrection stuff.
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    In Case You Were Wondering . . . 

    Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything. 

    Go ahead and read it. What else are you gonna do anyways? Work? 
    Please.

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