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YOUR CART

2/27/2018

What's My New Jam?

Timeout Lounge, Monday nights, hosted by DJ Payne
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2/26/2018

I'm in a LADY MOOD!

From the theoretically still fertile woman who brought you PLOP! -- a much more emotional and meaningful menstrual publication -- comes LADY MOOD: A Mini Menstrual Memoir filled with stunted emotions, half-truths, and shitty folding.

I'll be dropping these this week like I just dropped that unfertilized egg on the bathroom floor.

"Sorry I missed your toilet, Bro. But you can wipe that up for me like I do your piss, right?"

Right. 

29 COPY LIMITED EDITION: The typical max days in my cycle. Unless, of course, I'm too thin to menstruate. Then, ya know . . . it's just whenever there's enough of me around to bleed again. 
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2/26/2018

Bubbly. Bitter. Yum, Yum, Yum.

Art by ​​Shaun Clayton!
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2/23/2018

TONIGHT in Tucson!!

Sooo excited to perform with all of these incredible women TONIGHT!!
​
Catch up on their bios here, and we'll see you in Tucson for the Cactus Flower Comedy Festival!
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2/23/2018

Shhh, No One Tell Michael's Mom

But Street Sets was back in action last night.

2/23/2018

WHOSE MANS IS THIS???

Uh-oh . . . looks like there was an impersonator in the house last night at This Week Sucks, Tonight!
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2/21/2018

Searching for Serenity

I just made an appointment for a massage with a MALE therapist.

Nothing could possibly go wrong with this, could it?

(Oh, you think you know how to relieve my stress, do you?? You can make me feel all better, huh? Mother Fucker, I JUST met you. What makes you think I can't rub this kink out of my shoulder myself? I don't need a man to help me. Look! Look!! I'm doing it on my own cause I'm an independent bitch. That's right. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means, mane? It means this WOMAN -- not a girl -- this WOMAN -- is gonna walk out this door and live her life the way SHE wants to. I don't need you telling me I'm not pretty enough or young enough or I shouldn't move to the Czech Republic. Please, dick. I'll be living it up on the Vltava, looking forward to my Christmas Carp. Of course, I'm not gonna eat it! I don't eat meat. You would already know that about me if you EVER took the time to get to know me beyond JUST MY BODY . . . You know what? FUCK THIS!! I'm outta here. I don't need your lying, cheating, stealing ass thinking I need you. Cause I don't. NASHLEDANOU, you piece of shit!!!

*wraps blanket messily around body and storms out of massage room with purse and clothes in hand, tripping at least three times before finally slamming the door*)
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2/21/2018

STAND UP VICE: A Tickle Your Bone Comedy Special Event!

You don't want to miss this special event: Short film and live performance mixed in one fantastic night!!

With John Henry, Dan Johnson, Nick Giasullo, Marcelino Crossman, Rob Maebe, Brian Kearley, Ricky Brindley, John Connell, and yours truly. 

Get there early because seats WILL fill up fast!

2/21/2018

TOMORROW Night at Stand Up Live!

I've just been added to the Stand Up Live Comedy Showcase THIS THURSDAY 2/22 at 8:00 pm!

Come on out to Stand Up Live in Cityscape, and do something a little different for your Thursday night.

Tickets are $5, and you can buy them in advance here. ​
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2/21/2018

Braving the Cold Last Night

For good times at Grand Ave Pizza Company!
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    In Case You Were Wondering . . . 

    Sometimes Ronnie D writes funny stuff. Sometimes she writes desperate teenage prose. Most times she just slams her feeble, little woman-hand onto the keyboard in an attempt to feel something, anything. 

    Go ahead and read it. What else are you gonna do anyways? Work? 
    Please.

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